i can't get to africa soon enough. the fucking 800something channels installed in my room yesterday as i'm laying fetus from cramping and the cellphone "i miss you where are you" calls are enough to drive a person back to drinking. i want to be loved but not needed. i want everyone to stop needing me around and making me feel guilty. i will retire to a small confined space and be locked in. so when people say "where have you been?" i'll say "being tortured" and maybe that will be a good enough answer. why, out of all my friends, is there only one person who can respect my choices and make me feel ok for having spent some energy on myself? i've got to question anyone who can't say "i'm happy if you're happy".

2002-12-30, 10:57 p.m.
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