MY MOM: are you coming to uncle jack's wake tomorrow night?

MY DAD: no, wakes are not biblical. jesus never said that we should mourn the death of our loved one in a stuffy funeral parlor.

MY MOM: so you're not gonna come because of that? i would hope that if our children died you would come and sit in that "stuffy funeral parlor" out of respect.

MY DAD: nope i wouldn't even go then.

MY MOM: charlie! i can't believe you're saying this right in front of the kids!

ME: it's cool mom. i want to be cremated and i want my ashes thrown in a dumpster.

MY DAD: the bible supports cremation, so i have no problem with that.

2001-10-09, 1:19 a.m.
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