i finally gave in and realized i wanted to have an actual wedding. i always thought i didn't and i guess that was because i wasn't sure i deserved it. plus, in cataloguing my history with men there was a small part of me that feared i'd decide against a lifetime and regret it for even longer.

i'm happy and calm that this is the right thing: to have 130 of my closests there to celebrate everything that means anything to me- love, unity and strength.

2005-06-16, 11:20 p.m.
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