i am moving out of my parents house later today (it is 2-30am, suckers) here is a list of my mixed feelings.

i won't miss:

my dad calling me into the kitchen so he can point at the knife i left in the sink and then asking "why are you so ridiculous?" instead of just fuckin putting it in the dishwasher himself, boy piss on the toilet seat, my parents asking me where i'm going every five- not out of authority, but out of noseyness. my brother's attitude in the morning. all the goddamn junk food that my family buys and refuses to hide. my dad telling me when i can/cannot have people over. having to sneak in my packages when i've shop-a-holiced. my mom bitching at me for not taking my shoes out of the kitchen. all the meat. the "why are you still awake?" question. my dad in his boxer shorts. my brother preferring video games over me. never having the house to myself. sneaking sex. tony benett waking me up out of my dad's radio.

i will miss:

the mornings; they are vulgar and cranky and amazing. my dad telling me i'm a cunt of a daughter and that he loves me in the same sentence. video game tennis with andrew. having 3 people to go to when i'm broke. when the 4 of us are actually in the same room. family seinfeld time. long talks with my mom before work that last as long as half a pack of cigarettes. when my brother and i curse and my mom tries to be distgusted but laughs instead. free food. the fuckin office upstairs that is insane in every way; nothing but pictures of god and the mets on the walls. my little pink rug and the memory in each of its stains. andrew's drunken "i love you" sessions. and most importantly, having people to ask "do i look fat in this?" to who actually tell you the truth so you can change.

2003-08-31, 2:19 a.m.
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