let's talk a little bit about things that have radically changed from back in the day (back in the day being, say, when i was in middle school) both for better and for worse.

the good:

i joined a gym today and the lady took me into the locker room to weigh and measure me. not that bad. but then she breaks out this small machine and i know just what it is, a fat detector. i can feel my face start to wince as i know she is going to grab some lump of fat around my non-existant abs and measure how out of shape i am. instead, however, she just asks me to hold it in front of me and press my thumbs on it. what?! it was the least embarrassing way to be told i'm overweight. i was really pleased.

the bad:

so i'm smoking a cigarette with my mother in the dining room this morning, (with clear view out the window) when a gorgeous 2003 type souped up sports car pulls up and stops in front of our house. "who the hell is that?" i ask my mom. "oh, the paper boy" she says- as if, don't all paper boys do their routes via new sports cars? but apparently they do! as my mother explains it, kids no longer do paper routes. it's older guys, 40something guys in their fucking cars. what?! what about young 10 year olds riding their bike with a basket who want to make money to buy video games or whatever their parents won't buy for them. is any tradition sacred? god. damn.

2003-02-26, 9:25 a.m.
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