i havent written not because i've been away or impatient but because everything is good and busy and exhausting and the in between things- like journaling my life on a computer- has been temporarily put on pause until i get to scream loud enough that it all slows down and i finally win the necklace in the machine.

tonight i went to a random diner with my friend ann-marie, which was a much needed get together because she is a perfect person to vent with. we wound up staying at the diner only an hour but then sat right outside the door of the diner on a bench for about 3 hours smoking cigarettes. ann was mid-story when she spotted the incredibly tacky necklaces that were in the vending machine and neither of us could believe we had missed them. they were these bigger than life necklaces with rankass chains and huge bling*bling*esque dollar signs. ann-marie and i each spent $8 trying to win the one big necklace (they were 50 cents each) to no avail. and somehow everyone got involved; waiters were coming out giving us change, this group of guys were breaking dollars for us and this little kid was even hitting the machine for us. after a total $20 spent and no big necklace (we had every other type of necklace in there and doubles) ann and i asked the owner if we could break the machine open and take out 2 big necklaces and we would give him back all the others. he never said yes but he never said no so we started in with trying to break it open. we kicked it. punched it. slammed it. then ann was going crazy and just shaking it and screaming "come on come on come on" and i stopped her and looked and her and told her we needed to go. we gave the kid helping us about 10 necklaces and then gathered up the other 30 and went out admitting that for 30 short minutes, we had gone berserk.

2002-07-31, 1:37 a.m.
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