my heart is heaving and sobbing and drinking itself into the ocean. i know that it isn't time for us yet, but i'm starting to think that i'll die before it is our turn. i have all these ideas about what i want to do with my life and all the children i want to birth and name. where are you?
i know you already and i can feel you although we've never touched. i need you to smooth me into the mountain, hammocking our lives together with arms held tight. dance with me. tell me that my mouth makes your eyes roll back in your head and my touch sends explosions through your spine. where are you to say all these things? where are you now that i am tired and in need of a cane?
ah, but fear is ceased and i am calm of desperation for you because i know that when our lanterns break and the memories fade i will make a stew for jesus while you take pictures of my toes.
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