i've been so happy that when i cried the other day i realized it was the first time i cried in 6 months. i remember a time when i would cry every day and sometimes all day. i don't know which is better. when i was always crying i was sad, yes, but i was so raw. there was nothing surrounding me, nothing to shed. i'm afraid that by being so happy and by going so long without crying that something may be wrong. i found myself asking myself yesterday "why haven't i been crying or sad? what does this REALLY mean?". and what i figured out is that it doesn't mean anything except, i'm happy. finally and really.

2009-04-07, 9:55 p.m.
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