babble

more and more i fear i am not (and may never have been) a woman. i do everything as a man does. i love like a man, simply and straightforwardly. i fuck like a man, in a rush to orgasm with no need for intimacy afterward. i work like a man, saturated in my own adrenaline stopping only for food and cigarettes.

it has been proposed that i adopted my father's behavior because i saw him as the power figure in my house growing up. i had an unnatural obsession with power as an adolescent and still do to this day. i should get "control" tattooed on my forehead because the word in and of itself exemplifies everything i see as good about being alive. i feel forfeited by vulnerability. i am plaqued by feigned forgiveness. i should win an award for world's worst compromisor.

2006-01-24, 7:32 p.m.
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