until our dying day

i don't ever explain what my poems are about, even when people specifically say that they are too vague or hard to follow. but in this case i will.

last night i had a dream that i was seventeen and napping on an open field. i saw my fiance in the distance but he was younger and really had a different face. in my dream i ran after him, chasing him. when i caught up to him i grabbed him around the neck and kissed him and kissed him. i couldn't let go. "you're my husband" i kept saying "i know you". but someone in the distance kept calling me away from him and i had to leave. as i climbed off of him he said "we'll meet in the future. it's ok" and then i woke up. it made me think that maybe this had really happened. that maybe i had once found him in my adolescence and didn't realize it. that i wasn't supposed to meet him the way i did on the beach in june 2003 because i wouldn't have been ready to stay with him forever. the dream has stayed with me all day and obviously prompted me to write this:


in my dream
i was seventeen
and had found him
six years premature.
even in my subconscious
i knew i wasn't ready
then
for the
committment
the forever
and would find it again
on the beach, in my twenties.
yet i ran.
and i.
clung to him.
like his leaves were falling off.
bringing on a new season,
bringing us closer to june.

2005-01-16, 7:54 p.m.
design by bluechicken

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