i had to write a very difficult letter today to someone who has been my best friend for over 12 years. in printing out the letter for my fiance to read, it came out to five pages.

it's hard to tell someone you loved forever and still love that you don't want them in your life. it's hard to express to them that even though they keep pursuing the friendship that's been over for months, there's nothing that's going to change your mind.

i let my mom and my best friend steve read the letter and they both said that the honesty of it would definitely hurt her and ultimately reduce her to tears. nothing about the letter is mean, its just the truth.

the saying "sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me" is a crock. words always hurt me. words have defined my life. one sentence that one person said to me years ago affects how i love people now. something my father said to me when i was a teenager made me decide i hated men. words, unlike thoughts, are permanent. you can't take them back.

2004-12-12, 7:43 p.m.
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