miraculous coincidence

i'm not religious and only midly spiritual, but every now and again i come to a crossroad where my life seems unbearable and i ask for "god" to help me. i have no idea what or who god is, but i'm sure there's something so i resort to calling it god.

the other night on a drive home on the highway i was feeling suicidal, but in a non-desperate and sort of creative way, but was sick of thinking about it. i asked god to take it off me and away from me so i could think clearly about the road ahead of me; literally and metaphorically.

once before, on a really late saturday night i was driving on the same highway and cars were wizzing by me at 100+ miles an hour. i was terrified and similarly called on god to help me. at the time i placed the prayer/thought i noted a car behind me driving with only one headlight. i immediately thought that it was so dangerous and how i hated when people didn't fix their headlights because it made it less possible to see where their whole car was. then some thought crept into my head about god being the one true light and i imagined the car, with it's one light, being a representation of god or god himself. i felt immediately safe.

so on this suicidal night as i asked for god to lift away my mind, i asked him to show me a vivid sign that he was real, that there was in fact an afterlife, and that he was with me as i thought. just then 3 cars, all in a row, all with only 1 head light, drove towards me. father, son, and holy-who-knows-what.



2004-07-21, 6:48 p.m.
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