this day last yr i had plans to lounge on the beach all day with my friend erin. early the night before my best friend cossette called and asked me to help her move out of her apt in queens. so instead of going to the beach at 10am, as planned, i headed out to queens at 8am and watched as she shoved pink boas and sparkly high heels in make-shift boxes as her boyfriend and i lugged them up and down three flights of stairs. the process, which she promised me would take no more than 2 hours, took 5. it was now 1pm and i was desperate for a sun tan. i left her and her boyfriend to their arguing and headed back to long island. for whatever reason, traffic was insanity and it took me until 3pm to make it back to erin's house (it's usually only a 45 min drive). once i got there erin's fiance decided that erin "wasn't allowed" to go to the beach with me that day, because we were going to the nude beach and he didn't want his daughter, who we were also bringing, being exposed to that. i threw some curse words at him, slammed the door and left. almost my whole fuckin day had been ruined and i contemplated just going home and taking a nap.
instead i drove out to the nude beach myself. i thought the ocean air and the long drive would give me time to cool off. on the drive there i remember feeling purposeful and relaxed.
i had been on the beach no longer than 5 minutes [sprawled out naked, reading a book] when i suddenly got the urge to look to my right. there, somewhat hidden in the sunlight, was a tall gorgeous man walking fully clothed. at that moment i turned to god and begged him. "dear god, if you can hear me, please, i don't even need this guy to talk to me, just let him take his clothes off, please lord, i beg of you".
just as he spotted me he parked his things 20 ft away and lit up a cigarette. (if you know my affinity for cigarettes you know i melted right there). moments later---the clothes came off. it was goooood.
i saw him staring at me. i was obviously enthralled with him. so naturally i invited him over to sit with me. it was 4pm. we wound up talking on the beach until 7pm. then he followed me to a nearby taco bell and we ate burritos and made out in the parking lot until 12pm. then we went to a park and made out some more until 4pm. i was in love with him. and i knew this because this was the first time in 2 years i had spent more than 2 hours with a man. i knew because i told him personal things about myself instead of saying "what do you care, just suck my tits". i knew he was in love with me too because the first compliment he paid me was "you're the most interesting person i've ever met" and when he looked at me his eyes were so wide it seemed like they would burn fire through me.
since that very first day we have been inseperable. a year later i feel the same about him because from day one to day 365 it's the same emotion- it feels like i've known him for 20 years. our love is the love you have when you're 5 years old and you have a best friend who you tell secrets to, play games with, and don't want to be anywhere without the other person.
now we're getting married and i'm so lucky because he is the most amazing man in the world. never before in my life have i met someone who has made me feel so wonderful about myself and loved me so completely for who i am, as i am. i am the best version of me when i'm with him. i am kind, straight forward, smart, honest, giving, understanding and patient. he has taught me how to be part of a couple, a team. he has made me feel appreciated for all the things i've done for him. he has encouraged me in any idea or endeavor i have wanted to pursue. and most importantly, i think, he has given me the room to grow as a person and as an artist. i feel fortunate and fulfilled and most of all grateful because like carrie bradshaw said on the closing episode of sex and the city "if you can find someone who loves the you that YOU love, then you've really got something great"
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