i lost a total of 90 pounds in my efforts to lose weight and i did it by starving myself. some of you might have been able to assume that. others might not, it doesn't matter. along my path a lot of people questioned me and wanted to know how i was doing it and doing it so quickly. i always had to lie and say i was cutting calories or that it was because i was working out. i always thought it would be so relieving if one day i could just tell someone right to their face what i had really done, just so i could stop lying.
the other day a customer came into my store and told me she had lost 80 pounds. at this point, if someone doesn't know i've lost weight i don't ever bring it up, but for whatever reason this day i did. she asked if i had a picture of myself at my heaviest. i said i did and i showed it to her. she said the transformation was amazing and asked me how i did it. i looked her right in the face and said "i starved myself. i went 5-6 days at a time without putting anything in my stomach. when i did eat i would have an apple or a piece of wheat toast, but mostly i lived on diet coke and cigarettes. " these were words i had only ever told very close friends way after the starvation was over and now i was saying it to a stranger. it was a scary thing to have said outloud but it felt good to be honest. i was anticipating that her shock and disapproval would reassure me that my recovery from anorexia was healthy and the fact that i was eating now was a big achievement, one i should be proud of.
her response: oh my god, that's awesome! i could never have done that. you have so much will power. god, if i could have starved myself i definitely would have. i had to go to fucking weight watchers. well good for you sweetie. keep up the good work.
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