that evening

i sat on the freezing stoop

and let myself sob.

i let me hair fall in my face.

i let the whole sloppy world

around me fall

and i gave in.

i realized how much of a child

i still was

and how i should just goddamn

say so.

i let the winter air burn me,

crucify me,

make me realize how afraid i was of growing up.

i tumbled inside

onto my bed

and spent the rest of the night

lipping a glass of pink lemonade.

2004-01-20, 7:59 p.m.
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