before i knew anything about blow jobs

my brother's friend was over

(getting high and ignoring me)

and i went into the room he was in

and asked him if i could suck him off.

he was stunned by my forwardness

and being i was 15

was reluctant to allow me.

but when my hands reached his belt buckle

he lay back listening to pink floyd

as my mouth sucked and gagged.

when i was done

he asked me if i wanted to go eat somewhere.

my best friend was in the next room blowing my brother

and we figured we'd all go.

the boys said they'd get the car.

they did.

without us in it.

my friend asked if i felt used.

i shrugged my shoulders

went inside

and made some iced tea.

it was the beginning of

a lifetime of this

and somehow, i knew it.

2003-07-17, 10:23 a.m.
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