i am this glass ashtray on my desk being smoked over and ashed into and dumped out. i'm tired of the spinning in my stomach flip flopping itself so i feel i have to vomit but instead i write this. i don't want to write this. i want to say this out loud in a moderately toned voice. and then i'd ask you when my life became divided into hemispheres- when did all the unfairness and inequality around me become ulcers eating away at separate sections of my intestines. the flag is hung. they're all hung. i tried to count how many but i almost crashed my car like the gal in the hospital who told us all two hundred times in two thousand ways in a run on sentence just like this one that she had been trying to kill herself that time in the car when she almost crashed. why did planes crash 366 days ago killing thousands of people but that waste of life schizo got to live? why aren't days like these the dreams we wake up to and thank fuck aren't real to begin with? i wonder how these people who see men and women in division of gender or race or sexual preference still exist on this planet after all these years. we are all fundamentally the same. equal in significance, not appearance.

2002-09-12, 1:16 a.m.
design by bluechicken

previous����next